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 | Written by Dipul Patel on Sunday, 06 July 2008
Category:Random Rants
Hits:2061 |
Let's begin with a cheese scandal (click)
That’s right folks, these guys were taking spoiled, rotted cheese and repacking it!
Here is a gem from the article, “The rotten cheese, containing mice droppings as well as residue from plastic wrapping and ink labels, was mixed with fresh cheese products and used to make cheeses such as mozzarella and gorgonzola.”
All I have to say is, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA.
Read more about cheese here.
 Yum
Along the same line, let’s take a look at the newest Salmonella scare: Jalapeños (Click)
For those of you who were in a cave for the last few months, the latest scare was that tomatoes were causing salmonella outbreaks.
Here is the most fantastic part of that whole story, the investigators that first said that the tomatoes were to blame, are now saying that the Salmonella may be coming from jalepneos!
Fantastic, seems like these “investigators” have no freaking idea what they’re doing. I think they have a dartboard, and a few times a year think to themselves, “hey, maybe pe9ople will realize how useless we are, lets create a problem, and use cool words like
‘outbreak!’”
If you read the linked article, you’ll find this absolute diamond of a quote:
"How sad is that? We can't even really figure out what it is," said Rep. Diana DeGette
It’s pretty freaking sad, Diana. Perhaps congress is better suited checking up on steroids use in pro sports. Or, maybe these investigators or Congress should personally taste test all produce and report on the results.
These health officials now say with no doubt that jalapeños are to blame, but maybe tomatoes and cilantro. I'm guessing, in the next few weeks, they will come out with a list of food that IS safe to eat, rather than what is dangerous.
Now on to gas prices (click)
You all should have read my gas prices article here:click. If you haven’t, go read it now.
So, the gist of this article is that people are shocked, SHOCKED, by the 100 dollar fillup.
These are the same idiots who buy cars with 30 gallon tanks. Now, this is not some complicated formula, these morons should have known the cost of gas before they bought the damn truck. Don’t blame anyone but yourself. My car gets 15-17 MPG, but I love every second of it. I knew what I was getting myself into, you should have too.
Here is a quote from the article:
“Families that were accustomed to the convenience of sport utility vehicles are having to cut back as well. Colleen Hammond of Chagrin Falls, Ohio, loves packing her three kids and all their soccer gear into her 2000 GMC Yukon XL. But she hates paying $160 to fill the 38.5-gallon tank. Last month, she parked the Yukon in her driveway and borrowed her friend’s Toyota Land Cruiser.”
 Yea, this is necessary
Awww, poor soccer mom. She had to downgrade from a Yukon XL to a Land Cruiser. Do you even know how absurdly large these trucks are? You can fit three kids and a morbidly obese fat ass of a soccer wife into a Honda Accord with 3x the fuel economy, and have more cup holders for her 3x latte and milkshake.
 Can you believe these gas prices, and look at these new milk jugs!
There are like 5 types of people who need a truck as big as that, and those people aren’t whining about gas prices.
This article is such a testament to American stupidity it makes my head hurt.
Here is another amazing article. This is about the fact that milk jugs are changing shape. (click)
The reason these jugs are changing shape is simple, its so they can be stacked during shipping with less surface area that needs to be cleaned. By changing the shape of a bottle, you can fit 50% more jugs per unit area, and stores can hold over 200% more! Oh, and it WILL SAVE YOU (the consumer) MONEY.
What a novel concept, yet people are bitching, since it is harder to pour. Maybe I can put this to you lightly, if you have trouble pouring milk from this bottle, my money is on the fact that the cause of it is not the bottle. To put it bluntly, you are most likely a useless enema.
 THE HORROR!!!!
These are the same morons who bitch about gas prices in their absurdly large truck, or global warming.You can’t have it both ways, idiots.
Here is my last article for now, and it also deals with global warming. (click)
That’s right folks, your flat panel display may be worse for the environment than my car.
At this point, this may be conjecture since we know how accurate some of these scientists are, but it surprised the hell out of me!
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By:Dipul Patel
Category:Random Rants
Hits:2061
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