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Welcome to ManRants.com, where we intend to ignite the remnants of your personality that have been unceremoniously suppressed by work, family, stress, life, etc. The creativity that was so important to us all when we were young should arise like a phoenix from the ashes, and ManRants is the match that sparks the flame. This group of supremely loud and obnoxious friends has been ranting at each other through emails, phone calls, and conversations for years, and now we intend to unleash our strong, passionate voices and fierce honesty upon a public anxious for an outlet. We've got out opinions, and you've got yours. MANRANTS is where we let it all hang out.
Dave Homsher
I challange any of you to find someone more competetive and athletic then this kid. He gets so fired up that Jim Cramer tells him to calm down. He's like the tazmanian devil, on crack, speed, redbull and Jolt. I saw him score a triple double the day of his ACL surgery, while teaching Tom Brady how to throw and schooling Kasparov in a chess match. I've seen him beat all the zelda's ever made, simultaneously.
Dip Patel
Knows more about gadgets, technology and marinating than anyone else on planet earth. He will explain to you why megapixels don't matter, why you wasted your money on bad technology like Bose, all while grilling up a nasty steak. He can sit down at a poker table, and get you on tilt faster than Phil Helmuth after he wins his 11th, all while helping his friends siphon your money.
Jim Sarruda
The Goofiest man on the earth. This guy will make you laugh, all while figuring you out completely. He's much smarter than he looks, and surprislingly even more entertaining. He's got that magic mix of just enough goofiness to make everyone love him, while not being obnoxious. Imagine Owen Wilson, but with a personality.
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An Open Letter To Congress |
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| Written by Jeremy Cook on Thursday, 14 February 2008
Category:Sports
Hits:11471 |
MEMO
FROM: JCO
TO: THE CONGRESS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
SUBJECT: IN REGARDS TO YOUR ONGOING SPORTS FETISH
Members (both Ladies, Gentlemen, Democrats and Republicans) of the House of Representatives and Senate of these fine United States of America. It has been brought to my attention recently that the subject of performance enhancing drugs in Major League Baseball has quite closely captured your attention. Being the passionate baseball fan that I am, I can certainly understand your interest in the betterment of baseball. It is a fine sport that brings much joy to many Americans as well as people of other nationalities around the world. However, in the realm of the great responsibilities with which your esteemed body is tasked, I and many others in my association fail to see why you wish to spend such an exorbitant amount of time focusing on such an irrelevant task. Major League Baseball currently has a drug testing policy in place that has proven fairly effective since its inception. Your current ongoing attempt to re-write history is certainly ambitious, and you are certainly all honourable men, however given that your constitutionally-created assembly was put in place to handle a wide range of tasks, I am here today to suggest a few that you might be interested in taking on. Now, some of you may be familiar with the aforementioned Constitution of the United States, however judging by recent history I am concerned that a far greater number of you are not then we had previously thought. So, in the interest of national efficiency, I have highlighted a section here for you to read. It is from Article I, and is the section laying out the Scope of Legislative Power. Section 8. The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes, duties, imposts and excises, to pay the debts and provide for the common defense and general welfare of the United States; but all duties, imposts and excises shall be uniform throughout the United States;
• To borrow money on the credit of the United States;
• To regulate commerce with foreign nations, and among the several states, and with the Indian tribes;
• To establish a uniform rule of naturalization, and uniform laws on the subject of bankruptcies throughout the United States;
• To coin money, regulate the value thereof, and of foreign coin, and fix the standard of weights and measures;
• To provide for the punishment of counterfeiting the securities and current coin of the United States;
• To establish post offices and post roads;
• To promote the progress of science and useful arts, by securing for limited times to authors and inventors the exclusive right to their respective writings and discoveries;
• To constitute tribunals inferior to the Supreme Court;
• To define and punish piracies and felonies committed on the high seas, and offenses against the law of nations;
• To declare war, grant letters of marque and reprisal, and make rules concerning captures on land and water;
• To raise and support armies, but no appropriation of money to that use shall be for a longer term than two years;
• To provide and maintain a navy;
• To make rules for the government and regulation of the land and naval forces;
• To provide for calling forth the militia to execute the laws of the union, suppress insurrections and repel invasions;
• To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining, the militia, and for governing such part of them as may be employed in the service of the United States, reserving to the states respectively, the appointment of the officers, and the authority of training the militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress;
• To exercise exclusive legislation in all cases whatsoever, over such District (not exceeding ten miles square) as may, by cession of particular states, and the acceptance of Congress, become the seat of the government of the United States, and to exercise like authority over all places purchased by the consent of
the legislature of the state in which the same shall be, for the erection of forts, magazines, arsenals, dockyards, and other needful buildings;--And
• To make all laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into execution the foregoing powers, and all other powers vested by this Constitution in the government of the United States, or in any department or officer thereof.
Now, I hope that is not too much for you to deal with. I realize some of you are running short on your time left in office and looking to make your mark for the upcoming elections, and saving baseball is certainly a fine platform to run on, as it clearly proves your worthiness to run the most powerful nation on the planet. Unfortunately, the lengthy list of problems that is currently facing this nation seems to make the sport of baseball a somewhat extraneous task at the feet of your hands. So it is with great respect that I ask that you leave the sport of baseball, in the wishes of the 10th amendment, to the people of the United States of America, and let us judge our own pastime, as the subject of performance enhancing drugs and their effect on baseball is a baseball problem, it is not a congressional one.
Amendment X
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.
Sincerely,
A very concerned citizen
JCO
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By:Jeremy Cook
Category:Sports
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