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Stop Whining about Gas Prices |
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 | Written by Dipul Patel on Wednesday, 27 February 2008
Category:Random Rants
Hits:3048 |
Stop whining about gas prices, seriously.
HERE IS A NEWSFLASH, THEY HAVENT RISEN THAT MUCH. Take a look at this chart:
 Wow, prices are rediculous....they're almost as high as 1980!!!
There are many people I hear whining about gas prices, i will categorize them for your reading pleasure.
The Environmentalist Hybrid Driver
Gas prices are rising! I want to save the world! Waa waa waaa! Look at my Hybrid car. Do you realize you just wasted money on that Hybrid car?
Let me explain. I can get a nicely loaded carolla (before you even
mock me, please remind yourself that to purchase a Prius you have to
give your ballsack as collateral) for 20 grand and it will get 35 MPG.
or, you can spend 30 for a prius, and get 45. So lemme get this
straight, you're going to spend 50% more on a car, to save 10 extra
MPG... and then bitch about the gas prices? I would rather drive a 1982
carolla than a prius.
Also, Captain Planet, where do you think the metals that make up those batteries in your hybrid come from? The earth. What mines them? A crack team of oompa loompas? You think some magic force of hippies uses the grateful dead to mine these metals?
No genius, hard machinery, all of which run on.... GAS! Wow! LOOK AT THAT!
What do you think happens to those batteries when your car is obsolete? Believe me, in 10 years your car wont be getting the same gas mileage, and will be useless.
I'll give you hint, they go into a landfill or some other poorly regulated industry and pollute the environment just the same.
But I digress, let's continue on gas prices. Other than the fact that you just overpaid for a car that will never pay itself off, UNLESS GAS PRICES ARE RAISED. In addition, you obviously have enough money to compensate for the raise in gas prices, or you wouldn't be driving a hybrid.
Lets break it down.
You fill up once a week, with a 10 gallon tank. That costs you 30 bucks. It would have cost you 20, when gas was two bucks. That's 10 bucks a week. Count this against the falling dollar, and it's even less than that, because your 2 dollars was worth more 2 years ago. If you cant afford 10 dollars a week, go turn in your car, and get a motorcycle or a bike, and ride that around.
Here, I have a model of bicycle you can buy which will give you a similar feel to your hybrid.
 I can get you spinners for those training wheels
The Trendy Douche
We all know this guy. He's the guy who has an iPod connected to his Prada fanny pack. I wont even get into how much he overspent on an apple machine, or the special apple certified turtle neck he has on.
"Gas prices are atrocious!! We should all Protest!" Look, with my iBook, i can just boot up iProtest, and get on the iNternet and join forces with everyone!
Dude, go get your apple and drink a latte. You spend more on your douche bag accessories than you ever would on gas. Here's an idea, stop raising Starbucks stock prices and use that money towards gas.
Incidentally, these guys usually drive hybrids too, but only ones that have an iPod dock built in.
The Coworkers
Here is the kicker, they all make a great amount of money. Let me make
myself clear, if you are a struggling person making minimum wage trying
to raise kids, I empathize. I do. A little.
I hear people making well over six figures, constantly whine about it.
And they all drive cars that get 30+ mpg, and find a reason to whine.
Granted, it may cost you an extra 5-10 bucks a week, but you make over
2000 a week. Waste my time whining about something that really
matters, please.
The SUV Driver
There are two kinds of SUV Drivers. The one that bought the truck to actually use it, and the other who bought it because it looks cool and they wanted an SUV.
If you bought the truck to take it off road, I applaud you and I bet you never whine about gas prices after you come back with a truck covered in mud. Thanks for using your truck for what it was built for.
 This is what a Land Rover is BUILT for
The people I am talking about, however, are the ones who drive their kids to soccer practice and pick up bottled water at the grocery store. People who bought a truck for no reason other than it looks cool, or safety. (I wont get into how trucks don't corner, stop or accelerate as well as cars do) If you bought it for safety, than quit your whining about gas prices, because you can't put a price on safety, RIGHT? Or is little Johnny's life worth 2.119 a gallon but not 3.109? Also, you're probably an idiot who multitasks while driving anyway.
 Poor Hummer. I'm sorry.
But you, the one who whines about gas prices. WHAT THE HECK DID YOU THINK YOU WERE GETTING? You're buying a damn truck. It's gonna have crap gas mileage. It's not meant to be used on paved roads all the time. It's like a caged tiger, it's not fair to the truck. You bought the truck, you should take responsibility for it. Maybe you should sell it and buy a Camry.
There are Options!
Get a bike. Ride a motorcycle or moped. Carpool.
These are all things we can do, to circumvent the high prices of gas. All of which will honestly do real good for the environment, and in the case of the moped/motorcycle and bike, they will actually give you some exercise. Chances are, you need some.
Learn Stick Shift:
Simple, go get a manual car. Stop being lazy and learn it. Bam, you will get better gas efficiency, and save on your brakes. And maybe, you will be more focused on the road.
Stop using AC:
This is so obvious i wont even bother to explain it. if you need an explanation, please email Dr. Phil.
Why you should STOP whining
Gas Prices in Europe/UK:
They pay over 8 dollars a gallon for gas. Instead of bitching all the time, they have cars which have MANUAL TRANSMISSIONS, NO AC and are EFFICIENT. Why do you think European's don't really drive hybrids? I'll tell you why, because their cars get the same gas mileage, and are still fun to drive.
Bottled Water
This is something YOU ALL pay for, yet i never hear a peep. I cant tell you how many times I've seen people with a bottle of water in their hands, saying, "can you believe the price of gas?"
Yo, newsflash mcfly, you are holding something that you could normally get for free,but you're paying 8 dollars a gallon for it.
 Think about this next image next time you whine about gas prices
The level of stupidity there is so astounding, it makes this picture look logical. Infact, it is, cause he's using a Brita filter in it....
 Pay for water? Rediculous. Brita for me.
Look, ive seen people talk about gas prices like its the end of the world. They are going up. There is one thing you can do about it, STOP USING IT. That's the bottom line.
 Wow, my arm, leg and first born are worth less than 3.1999? Who knew!
At least you have some comfort in knowing, as the dollar falls in value
you are actually spending less on gas. Congrats. I wish 1/10th the
people who whined about gas would start whining about congress
wasting their time on a douche nozzle who made way too much money,
using steroids. Why not just let him use steroids until his head
explodes? Who gives a rats ass?
 Does that statement refer to the past or future?
How about you protest something that really matters?
Personally, I love my gas guzzling speed mobile. It does everything I want my car to do, and that's important because I travel 40 minutes to work, one way, every day. And I love every second of it. And that's what really matters when you spend 5% of your day, every weekeday, behind the wheel of a car. To me, it's well worth every penny I spend on gas. I get into my car, listen to my satellite radio, and comfortably get to 80 MPH and drive to work, with a big smile on my face. I knew what I was getitng into, when I bought my car, you should have too.
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By:Dipul Patel
Category:Random Rants
Hits:3048
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