Written by Dipul Patel on Thursday, 03 April 2008 Category:Random Rants Hits:64402
I don't have kids. Know why, because I am young, enjoy the hell out of my life, and can't afford it right now. So please, when you good parents out there ask me to stop judging parents because I don't have kids, give the argument a rest. There are certain fundamentals about raising ANYTHING that even a chimpanzee knows. I don't need to go to jail to realize it sucks. I don't have to be a mechanic to realize that when my car's exhaust is releasing billowing white smoke, something is wrong. This is a small sample of completely useless people, who have the privilege of raising children. Instead of doing the best they can, they manage to screw it up. How can people who would be fired from McDonald's, be entrusted to raise kids? Its a travesty, and its a cycle that will continue.
I'm gonna kick this off with welfare parents. These are people who breed for no other reason than to get more money out of the "system". Look, finding a job in this country is easy. EASY. I don't care who you are, or where you live. These people obviously understand simple arithmetic or they wouldn't be having more kids for the pure reason of profit. They obviously realize that if they have more kids, they will get more cash. As such, they should be able to get a job at McDonalds, Hardee's or even the TSA.
Perhaps, as a requirement for welfare you should have to have a vasectomy or get your tubes tied.
Does that sound wrong? Does that offend you? If so, open your f*cking eyes, the kids are the ones who suffer. The kids are the ones who get shuffled off into terrible group homes when their parents are deemed unfit. If they are deemed unfit, perhaps something needs to be done about these useless leeches of society.
Christian Bale said it best in American Psycho, when he lectured a bum:
BATEMAN
Listen, do you think it's fair to take money from people who
do have jobs? From people who do work?
HOMELESS MAN
What am I gonna do?
BATEMAN
Listen, what's your name?
HOMELESS MAN
Al.
BATEMAN
Speak up. Come on.
HOMELESS MAN
Al.
BATEMAN
Get a goddamn job, Al. You've got a negative attitude.
That's what's stopping you. You've got to get your act together.
I'll help you.
If you havent seen this movie
buy it now. It's worth $10.
Now we will chime in on some recent news articles I've found from looking on the web for less than 2 hours.
2 hours and I find this much.
Imagine what we could find in a day. In a week.
Click the titles for the originating news story. (They will all open in a new window)
Have a look at these winners right here.
This is a family that in three generations, they haven't worked. They have lived off of £32,000 (that's ~63 grand USD) and a free house. These useless idiots brag about not working. They are actually offended that their neighbors think they are "shameless". I think that's a bit harsh, it's not like they're taking craps on the lawn and selling used condoms.
Wait, selling used condoms would be impossible, because it would infer that these people use birth control, and WORK.
Here is the kicker, They are PROUD of the fact that they don't work. Proud. The only people who should be proud that they no longer work, are the people who worked their a$$ off and retired. That's it. This makes even Jared Foglebeing proud seem sane. It makes me almost admire morons like Lindsay Lohan, because she made something of herself, and she isn't living off of some government.
The beauty of this, is that there are ten of them. There is a grandma, and her three daughters. Those three daughters have a combined six grand kids. These people whine about not having 10 bedrooms, but are at least comforted by their big screen tv and satellite.
The kids, none of them finished high-school.
My only hope, is that these people inbreed themselves into oblivion.
Look at these winners. (Grand Daughter, Son, Grandmother)
This must be the best parents on the planet. Daddy runs a red light with a 12 year old son in the car. The Cop pulls him over, and finds that he's drunk.
At the station, the cop asked the 12 year old son to phone his mom to come get him.
Awesome, mom to the rescue! Ah ha! You underestimate the awesomeness of this family.
Mommy shows up with a 9 year old daughter in the car, also intoxicated!! And the best part, her Blood alcohol content was higher than her hubby's.
Wow, hubby had the older kid and less alcohol in his system, what a sissy. He should immediately down a shot of whiskey, and take his kid to the bar. What will his drinking buddies think when they find out his lady put down more than he did?
I am disgusted.
What these parents should have done, was appointed a babysitter like this next winner.
Angie Hawkins must have had a hard day at work. She decided, she needs to blow off some steam, and hit the bar. She appointed a babysitter for her 10 year old son, and took off.
She should interview a little better, the babysitter was her 12 year old AUTISTIC SON.
When the lady came home, and found out her neighbor and informed the police, what did she do? Did she thank her neighbor for rectifying what could have been a brainfart of massive proportion? A mistake?
Nope, this classy lady punched her in the face.
Someone should punch you in the ovaries.
But wait, there is more. This next parent takes this to a whole new level.
I guess I can't blame this dude, When I was younger, my mom used to give me brandy when I had a bad cold. He must just be confused.
When this winner was visiting his son, he put brandy into the son's drink. His reasoning, "I want to get tipsy with his son!" Of course! Who doesn't!! Did I mention that his son is 3 month's old?
Not to be outdone, we have what is known as the cleanest woman on the earth.
Jennifer Clement is easily the most hygienic woman alive. She's so clean, brushing teeth isn't enough for her, she actually fed her 8-month-old daughter... BLEACH. Luckily, the little girl's brother had enough sense to call 911.
She's going to do real well in prison. Rhonda, please take care of this woman.
Are you freaking kidding me? This woman, if convicted, only faces 15 years! What do you think will happen after that occurs? My guess, she will get out, go on a sex binge and create 3 more kids to torture.
Lets switch gears here, and talk about a lady who just worked too hard, and needed a vacation.
When I was younger, I loved it when my parents went on vacation for 6 weeks. I remember, they left to India for almost 2 months, and I was alone with my sister. Only, I was a high-school senior, with a job and credit.
This winner left her daughter of 14 alone for 6 weeks, with approximately 200 bucks and some food in the fridge This bag of walnuts didn't want her daughter living with her dad, because her dad has a drinking problem.
Cardrico Nash was nervous, and rightly so. He hadn't seen his kids for over a year! He was going to finally reconnect with them, but dammit, he was nervous.
What does Captain Moron do to unwind? He hits the strip club! A lap dance really takes the edge off. The problem is, that this genius had already picked up his kids, and decided to go to a strip club at 1 AM, and hang out for an hour. He had four kids in his car, ranging from 3 months old to 7 years old. Oh, it was only 35 degrees out. Nice, free slushies for the kids!
That's not too bad, right? I mean, its only upstanding citizens that hang out at these establishments! At least one of the patrons had enough sense to call the cops and report the kids in the car.
Here is the best part, this winner's baby momma was working at a different strip club in the same town! He should have taken his kids there, it was take your child to work day. What an insensitive jerk.
He's gonna have a blast in prison. Maybe he'll get to work on his lap dances!
Now, for a parent that is so disgusting, he should be sent away for life.
Kara was 11 years old. Kara was a type 1 diabetic, something that is easily treated with careful treatment.
We're not in the 16th century folks.
Science Exists.
Science WORKS.
These parents knew that their daughter was sick for probably a month. What did they do? Well, the logical thing of course! They Prayed!!
Sometimes I pray.
I pray for people I care about, and their health.
I pray that I wake up 6'6" and can own up the NBA.
I pray that I win the lotto, so I can purchase 400 lb bag's of nickels, and send them to my friends every week.
I pray that the Eagles win the Superbowl.
I am not 6'6", my friends wont be showering in nickel's like Uncle Scrooge's demented cousin, and the Eagles, well, maybe this season.
When my dog's get sick, they go to the vet.
When my car is acting up, it goes to the mechanic.
When I get sick, I GO TO THE DOCTOR.
The mother, Leilani Neumann, didn't expect her daughter to die. She actually even said, that they are not religious fanatics, they aren't "crazy religious people."
Read this excerpt from the article:
"We just noticed a tiredness within the past two weeks," she said. "And then just the day before and that day (she died), it suddenly just went to a more serious situation. We stayed fast in prayer then. We believed that she would recover. We saw signs that to us, it looked like she was recovering."
It's a good thing that Leilani is a medical doctor. The last time Kara had seen a doctor was when she was 3 years old, 8 years prior.
I understand that these parents have their beliefs, but what about Kara's? Maybe Kara thought, this is a crackpot theory and I need to get better. Maybe these morons should have ERRED ON THE SIDE OF CAUTION AND SAVED THEIR KID'S LIFE.
They have three more kids.
Maybe tonight I'll pray that these parents will gain some sense and do something right.
Here are some awesome parents, with pictorial evidence!
I read on AOL that this is healthy for kids!
He loves it honey, look!
She's just a little cold...
Here are some more examples:
This parent/Guardian just paid no attention at all to their kid.
Look Tommy, the moose is nice. He's like Bullwinkle, go pet him so I can get some video!
I have no children. I know one thing, when I do, I will devote my entire existence into raising them right and making sure they are better people than I am.
Alas, It is NOT my job to raise your kids.
It is not America's job to raise your kids.
IT IS YOUR JOB. If you're going to do anything right in your entire life, do this right.
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